From the podcast that’ll have you reflecting on your life so far, to the course that will broaden your horizons, open your mind to our latest top recommendations

1. Page-turners

My Tiny Kitchen Garden by Felicity Hart

If you have limited space, or no outdoor space at all, but have always dreamed of growing your own food, then this is the book for you. From covering the basics of micro-gardening to plant profiles that’ll help you choose what to grow, get your green fingers ready for this fruitful read.

(Out now, £8.99, Summersdale)

2. Out and about

Cloud watching

If, when you read ‘cloud watching’ you brushed it off as something whimsical and unexciting, think again. Sitting back and watching the clouds go by can be a wonderful exercise in mindfulness, as well as a deeply relaxing pastime – whether you’re eight or 88 years old. Take some time to really sit back and notice the world around you, or sign up for the Cloud Appreciation Society, share in the wonder of our skies, and find cloudspotter groups near you.

(cloudappreciationsociety.org)

3. Act of kindness

Donate to or volunteer with Strut Safe

Strut Safe is a new initiative that offers a free phone service for people in the UK to call while walking home alone – with volunteers staying on the line until callers are safely home. Relying entirely on donations and volunteers to run the phone lines, support is needed to grow the service. Could you help?

(Head to strutsafe.org)

4. Lend us your ears

‘The Way We Are with Munroe Bergdorf’

Join activist and writer Munroe Bergdorf and her guests each week as they reflect on their personal journeys of growth. Exploring how the events of their lives have shaped the people they are today, tune-in to this celebration of the things that make us who we are.

(Available on all podcasting platforms)

5. Plugged-In

Carissa Potter Carlson

You know that moment where you come across something that perfectly captures a thought or feeling you thought no one but you had? Artist Carissa Potter Carlson’s Instagram feed is dedicated to creating those moments, so that we can all feel a little less alone. From the hopeful to the honest, these simple illustrations pack a powerful message.

(Follow @peopleiveloved)

6. Tech tip-offs

Daily Bean

An easy, digital way to track your mood and the many variables that can affect it, Daily Bean prompts you to fill out a log each day so that you can trace your wellbeing from one day to the next. Customisable to your own needs and circumstances, and with a paid version that offers in-depth stats and trends, this app is a new way to get an overview of where you’re at.

(Available on from the App Store and Google Play Store)

7. Lesson learned

British Sign Language

If you’ve ever been interested in learning British Sign Language, now is the time. Since the start of the pandemic, British Sign has introduced a ‘Pay it Forward’ scheme, where you can now study a 20-hour CPD certified course, and pay what you wish, starting from just £3. Work through the course at your own pace, and help make the world a more accessible place.

(Visit british-sign.co.uk)

8. Get going

Tai Chi

A traditional Chinese martial art that is performed in a very slow and graceful manner, Tai Chi is an excellent way to get moving while bringing some mindfulness into your life. Follow tutorials online, or learn routines that you can pick up and take with you wherever you go, and enjoy the unique pleasure of this ancient activity.

(Search for Tai Chi tutorials on YouTube)

9. Square eyes

Making Fun

The premise is simple: each episode, kids pitch the team of makers a wild build – from a giant dinosaur that shoots tacos from its mouth, to an oversized guitar that doubles up as a boat – and the team then have the task of making their dreams a reality. It’s whacky, creative, and perfect for the whole family.

(Available on Netflix)

10. Treat yourself

Drop of Colour painting kit

The perfect way to channel your creativity, the painting kits from Drop of Colour offer all that you need to create a painting from scratch. Including brushes, high-quality paper, and paints, as well as a reference image and step-by-step instructions, this kit has everything beginners and pros alike need to grow your artistic skills.

(From £14, dropofcolour.com)

To connect with a life coach or discuss ways that you can work on your own mental wellbeing, visit lifecoach-directory.org.uk

Understanding the symptoms of anxiety to watch out for can help you to address the root cause sooner. Here, we are sharing five warning signs of angst that people often aren’t aware of

1. Shame spirals

That inner critic really comes alive when we’re feeling anxious. We might worry about meeting expectations, letting someone down, or making a mistake. These thoughts often cause us to spiral into a cycle of guilt and shame as we put more and more pressure on ourselves, which creates further anxiety.

2. Brain fog

Feelings of anxiety use up our energy, meaning our reserves are reduced for tasks we can normally just crack on with. On top of that, it can take even more effort to stop the anxious thoughts invading and taking over our minds, resulting in feeling less sharp, trouble concentrating, and often grogginess.

3. Tinnitus

Ringing in your ears (tinnitus) and chronic anxiety can be closely linked in a vicious circle, with emotional stress sometimes leading to tinnitus developing (or getting worse), or the tinnitus exacerbating existing anxiety.

4. Nausea

Anxiety can make our body go into crisis mode, activating our fight or flight response. This induces a rush of hormones causing our heart and breathing rates to increase, our muscles to tense up, and more blood to be sent to our brain. These hormones also impact the digestive system, often creating a ‘butterflies’ in the stomach feeling, which can lead to nausea and even vomiting for some people.

5. Sensitivity to light

During periods of intense anxiety, for example in a panic attack, your fight or flight mode comes into play, causing your pupils to dilate, as well as the muscles in your face tensing. This can result in being more sensitive to light, as well as aching in the eye area. But remember, if you’re experiencing any problems with your eyes, it’s always best to speak to a professional to get them checked to be safe.

For more information and support for anxiety, visit Counselling Directory

Follow these steps to break free from limiting ideas about life with mental illness

When thinking about the stigma associated with mental health problems, your first thoughts are likely to be negative public perceptions, inaccurate stereotyping in the media, or disparaging attitudes at work. However, there is another kind of stigma that is equally painful, but less talked about: self-stigma.

Self-stigma happens when public prejudice and stigmatising discourses are internalised by an individual. In other words, self-stigma is when a person with mental health problems encounters stigma, and then believes this to be true for themselves and their own life.

In these situations, self-stigma can lead to behaviours such as isolation from loved ones, turning down opportunities, or relinquishing goals. In a world where negative attitudes towards mental health problems still circulate, it’s easy to understand why we might internalise some aspects of stigma. So, let’s take a look now at how to identify and, crucially, reduce it.

1. Recognise self-stigma

The first step to reducing self-stigma is to notice it, and put a name to it. To do this, gently observe your thoughts about different areas of your life – such as relationships, family, work, and leisure – by using mindfulness techniques. Notice whether you experience any thoughts of being unworthy, shameful, incapable, weak, or unlikable in relation to having mental health problems. Examples might be, ‘I can’t have a relationship because my schizophrenia makes me unlovable,’ or ‘I have depression so nobody will want to hang out with me.’ Label such beliefs as self-stigma, and tell yourself that these thoughts require further investigation into their validity before fully accepting them as truth. Just because you think something, even if you have clung to a belief for years, doesn’t mean it’s accurate.

2. Gain knowledge from well-researched sources

Take time to really learn about mental health problems or conditions from carefully-researched, sensitively-written sources. It’s vital to be discerning when selecting books, videos, articles, or podcasts – as not all will be high quality or have an empathetic standpoint. Useful questions to ask can include:

• Who authored this content?
• What is their point of view and intention?
• How well-researched is it?

If something you’re reading or watching makes moral or character judgements about people with mental health problems, puts limits on their potential, or makes you feel inept, unlovable, or hopeless, these are red flags. Unfollow social media accounts that share or reinforce stigmatising messages, so you are not bombarded with hurtful messages as you scroll.

3. Grow an empowering support network

Self-stigma may exacerbate social isolation as a result of thoughts about being undeserving of friendships, being too incompetent to engage with a local community, or too difficult to love. Therapist Kimberly Tomlinson explains that self-stigma is “painful because the fear or assumption of pending rejection causes the person to reject and remove themselves”.

However, developing connections with empathetic people who want to raise you up instead of knock you down can be both liberating and healing.

Furthermore, research published in the Psychiatric Rehabilitation Journal shows that a feeling of belonging creates a ‘buffer’ for self-stigma. Peer support can be a rich avenue to explore too, as connecting with others with similar experiences may provide comfort, validation, or give ideas for new ways of being.

4. Express yourself in ways that feel comfortable

A person experiencing self-stigma may believe that their experiences are not worth talking about, or are too shameful to discuss. If silence feels claustrophobic, then self-expression can offer a release. There are limitless outlets, such as blogging, painting, poetry, or photography. And what you express – how much and to whom – is up to you. Choose the audience that feels right for you, whether that’s online or offline, or just for yourself.

5. Work on building self-confidence and self-esteem

Long-term, self-stigma chips away at self-confidence and diminishes self-esteem. As Kimberly Tomlinson describes: “Being different equals feeling lesser than, and the person assimilates what they are told they are instead of being who they are.”

When self-confidence takes a dive, start with small tasks, initially just one step out of your comfort zone, and build up. Take time to reflect on your thoughts before a challenge (‘I felt like I couldn’t do it’) and after (‘I managed it!’). Keep a journal of personal qualities, small successes, and positive feedback to re-read, and see if affirmations of self-worth (‘I deserve care, I deserve joy’) could strengthen a positive sense of self.

Kimberley Tomlinson is a psychotherapists who specialises in person-centred therapy. To find out more visit counselling-directory.org.uk

Nutritionist Marcelle Rose debunks misconceptions around binge eating disorder and shares some steps to help overcome it

Binge eating disorder (BED) is a serious illness thought to affect one in 50 people. As with any eating disorder, it must be medically diagnosed and there are likely to be many who are overlooked and slip through the net.

People who battle with binge eating tend to be misunderstood – often labelled as greedy, lazy or just lacking willpower. However, this condition is deeply distressing. It is often isolating due to a profound sense of fear and shame. Commonly sufferers experience round the clock preoccupation with food, their eating behaviour and appearance.

The people who I work with describe a binge eating episode as ‘trance like’, feeling out of control, not being able to stop until they are uncomfortably full. The food does not bring them joy, in fact, an episode is followed by intense feelings of guilt, remorse and self-disgust. Then there are the relentless obsessional thoughts that follow – it is exhausting, all-consuming and there’s often no headspace left for anything else.

A set of strict criteria must be met in order to diagnose BED, however, it’s important to note that all binge eaters experience a great deal of distress and feelings of shame whether they meet the diagnostic criteria for BED, or not.

These are some of the signs and symptoms that may lead to a BED diagnosis:

• Regular episodes of eating significantly more food than most people would eat in a short period of time.
• Feeling out of control of how much or what is being eaten.
• Eating much faster than normal.
• Eating until feeling uncomfortably full.
• Eating large amounts of food when not physically hungry.
• Eating alone because of the shame surrounding the amount eaten.
• Feeling distressed, disgusted with oneself, depressed, or very guilty after overeating.

If binge eating is something you battle with, you are not alone and there is support available.

Diving into the next diet is not the answer. It is about so much more than what you are eating and there are a number of contributing factors – physiological, emotional, psychological and behavioural – that will need addressing. Here are some critical considerations to help you move forward:

1. Food restriction often leads to bingeing

Instead of cutting calories or food groups, focus on including an abundance of varied whole foods in your diet. Think about balance – including protein, slow-releasing carbs, natural fats and plenty of veg to help regulate your blood sugar and prevent the physiological impact of cravings.

2. Self-compassion is key

Despising yourself and your body will only work against your desire to change it. Have you noticed how you talk to yourself? Many of the thoughts you have are unconscious, so it’s important to begin by noticing when unhelpful thoughts arise and write them down. Ordinarily automatic ‘bad body’ thoughts and ‘all or nothing’ thinking about what you have eaten, leads to bingeing behaviour. When you have a harmful thought, what could you say to yourself instead that would be more helpful?

3. Be aware of your triggers

Notice what triggers these unhelpful thoughts. Perhaps it’s a specific situation, place, conversation, or person. Frequently, comments about dieting and weight from those nearest and dearest are the unintentional source. When we are able to observe these patterns without judgement, we can begin the process of breaking behaviour chains and creating different outcomes.

If you are struggling with your eating, don’t face it alone. It is possible to find food freedom and establish balance in your mind and your life. Working with a specialist practitioner who has training in eating disorders and body image can undoubtedly help you make long-lasting transformational change.

Marcelle is on a mission to help women make peace with their body and heal their relationship with food so they can reclaim their life. She created this free resource to support you on your journey to dismantle your diet mindset and begin the process of breaking free from dieting emotional eating and bingeing.

Please also join Marcelle in The FOOD FREEDOM COLLECTIVE free Facebook community, a safe place where you can feel supported without judgement. Marcelle shares live coaching videos in the group each week, in addition to daily food ideas, strategies and motivation.

Find a nutrition professional to support your recovery on Nutritionist Resource.

The findings of a new study uncovered the extent to which financial wellbeing can negatively impact work performance

According to a survey published by YouGov and YuLife, 80% of UK employees believe that stress around their financial wellbeing can negatively impact their performance at work – with the figure rising to 88% among those who live in households with children. And, yet, 66% of workers also reported that they would feel uncomfortable opening up to their employer about their situation.

The survey comes at a time when many people are feeling the financial strain as a result of the rises in the cost of living, and with money and mental health invariably interlinked – with a Mind survey of more than 1,000 people finding that 73% reported that when their mental health is poor, they struggle more to manage their money, and 74% also said that difficulty managing money then went on to affect their mental health – it’s an issue we can expect to see more of over the coming months.

• Where to get help if you’re worried about finances
• Money management tips for periods of bad mental health
• How to take care of your financial wellbeing
• Does your money mindset need adjusting
• Seven tools to manage your mental wealth for life

It’s easy to see how stress and anxiety can affect our performance at work, which leads to the question, whose responsibility is it to improve employees’ sense of financial wellbeing? In the survey, almost half of respondents agreed that that responsibility lay with the workplace, calling on them to do more than just fulfil legal obligations such as benefits and pension contributions. Beyond that, 61% shared that a workplace’s ability or willingness to support their financial wellbeing contributes to their decision on whether to stay or find a new role elsewhere – with only 7% saying that this isn’t a factor in their decision.

“This survey demonstrates the clear link between financial wellbeing and productivity in the workplace bringing to light the need for essential assistance to look after financial stress,” said Sammy Rubin, CEO and Founder, YuLife. “The almost-universal nature of money worries means that employers have a responsibility to support their employees’ financial wellbeing with additional benefits and insurance products as well as creating help and awareness to suit their financial needs. Employees increasingly believe that workplaces are responsible for improving financial wellbeing – it’s no longer considered a nice-to-have but an integral part of creating a healthy workspace.”

Money issues can often feel very isolating, and they can be difficult to talk about, even with those who are close to you. But help is available, and there are a number of support avenues you can go down to find it.

Need to talk? Connect with a counsellor using counselling-directory.org.uk

Reaching out for support with your mental health takes a lot of courage in the first place, but what happens when getting the right diagnosis isn’t straightforward?

Lizzy Adas’s story begins in 2008, when she was 22 years old. She was working as a manager for a pub chain, and recalls how she would go from feeling great, breezing through work, to suddenly hitting a brick wall, and spiralling into a whirlwind of depression.

That was the start of what would become a 13-year journey to a diagnosis of bipolar disorder; a path that was paved with dead ends and false turns.

“At first I tried to ignore it, and hoped it would go away, but I started to go into myself so I went to my GP,” Lizzy says. “They tested my thyroid – all OK – and said I could have counselling or medication. I was always scared of counselling, as it meant speaking about the abuse I had as a child, and so I opted for meds.”

She was being treated for anxiety and depression but, instead of getting better, Lizzy’s mood cycles got worse each passing year.

“I tried everything I could think of – changed my contraceptive pill, did blood tests, exercised, everything. But it just got worse and I had no idea why.”

In 2016, Lizzy gave birth to her twins, and shortly after was diagnosed with postnatal depression (PND) – the only diagnosis that, so far, felt right for her. But things still didn’t improve, and in 2017 she began attending counselling after feeling suicidal.

I felt lost, like if they couldn’t help me then who could? Maybe it was in my head, maybe I was causing it?” Lizzy says. “In April 2019, I had a severe breakdown and self-harmed – I wanted the pain to go away. I was destroyed. So I went to my GP again, I remember just shouting, ‘Help me! If you don’t, my children won’t have a mother much longer.’ I asked, why am I happy and then so sad? Why do I feel like this is killing me, literally?

“He said it sounded as though I had bipolar, and that having children meant the onset of bipolar had worsened. I finally got sent to the mental health team.”

In January 2021, Lizzy was diagnosed with bipolar. But her story, sadly, isn’t unique. Mental health misdiagnoses are not uncommon, and bipolar is one most commonly misdiagnosed; according to Bipolar UK, it takes an average of nine years to get a correct diagnosis and, during that time, patients will be misdiagnosed on average 3.5 times.

Psychotherapist Jeremy Sachs says: “Mental health misdiagnosis does happen. In the sexual trauma recovery groups I run, I’ve met people who lived with misdiagnosis for most of their lives – PTSD mistaken for autism, psychosis mistaken for borderline personality disorder.” One cause Jeremy outlines is that symptoms may overlap into different conditions, and it’s also possible to have more than one mental health condition, which raises the chances of it being missed or mistaken.

“This isn’t just healthcare professionals missing or misunderstanding symptoms,” Jeremy explains. “The pathologising of minority groups can lead to misdiagnosis or mistreatment. For example, it is common among the transgender community, when seeking support for transitioning, to have challenges with healthcare professionals misdiagnosing their feelings or experiences.”

Beyond that, Jeremy points to the fact that three quarters of mental health conditions begin before a person reaches their 20s – something that can leave you feeling ‘different’, and isolated from your peers, sometimes just written off as ‘teenage angst’. And facing a misdiagnosis can come with a sense of fatigue.

“Rallying the courage to approach a healthcare professional (normally, this starts with a GP) to confirm this term or an informal mental health diagnosis can take enormous energy,” he explains. “It can be devastating if that diagnosis doesn’t fit your experience. It could feel like someone has robbed you of how you see yourself and how you function in the world. They may offer a different diagnosis that can feel alien to how you feel and perceive yourself. And a person can feel like they are to blame for a lack of progress in their treatment.”

Feelings like those Jeremy highlights are natural, and can take time to process – they echo Lizzy’s early experiences. However, her final diagnosis came with a huge sense of relief at finally having an answer.

“To me, it wouldn’t have mattered what the diagnosis was, as long as it was the right one and I could finally get help,” she says.

There’s no hiding the fact that a mental health misdiagnosis, and the long road to getting clear answers, is often accompanied by a host of additional wellbeing challenges. A final diagnosis can open the door to greater self-understanding, but it can also come with mixed-feelings. Wherever you are – or someone you care about is – on that journey, as we continue the conversation on mental health, and support investment and research into resources and care, there are lessons on the horizon. And that’s something we can all be a part of.

Your options

Jeremy Sachs explains your options when facing a misdiagnosis:
If you disagree with a diagnosis, you have a right to ask your doctor to explain their decision-making. If you are still unhappy, you can ask for a second opinion. However, this is not a right, and could be refused. If you feel stuck with a diagnosis, and your doctor isn’t providing any additional support or pathways to alternative consultations, here are some things you could consider:

Make a complaint

It is written in the NHS constitution that patients have the right to complain about any aspect of NHS care, treatment, or service. Speak to your healthcare service manager or reception staff to find out how to register a complaint.

Appealing the use of the Mental Health Act 1983

If you are complaining on behalf of someone detained against their consent under the Mental Health Act, put under guardianship or community treatment order, you can go to the Care Quality Commission (cqc.org.uk/contact-us/how-complain/complain-about-use-mental-health-act)If you are detained under the Mental Health Act 1983, you will experience reduced rights. However, you still have some rights, such as:

• Seeing an Independent Mental Health Advocate (IMHA)
• Seeing visitors, writing to people, and some phone calls
• Speaking to hospital managers
• Appealing your section at a tribunal.

More options

Speak to the NHS Patient Advice and Liaison Service (PALS)

PALS officers are based in local hospitals and provide support for patients, carers, and family members. They are not a specific service. Instead, they are a general point of contact for information, resolving concerns or problems, and support making complaints if needed.

Find an advocate organisation

Advocates can help liaise with healthcare professionals and staff to get you what you are entitled to, so you can access the help you need. Usually, they are charities independent of NHS services. Some advocacy groups are NHS-run, but are separate from healthcare departments you may be having difficulties with.

Advocates, like PALS, can also support you to make a complaint. Try getting in touch with the following organisations as a place to start: theadvocacypeople.org.uk and pohwer.net

Find peer support

You may find your mental health doesn’t improve while trying to either get a second opinion, file a complaint, or come to terms with a diagnosis that feels wrong. Connecting with other people who have the same or similar diagnoses can be a massive help. Not only will they understand what you are going through, but they are likely to have plenty of tips, or life hacks, to help with everyday challenges. Search for support groups or group therapies. These are often charities with reduced or no fees.

Find talking therapies

Seeking out a psychotherapist or counsellor can really help. They can provide a space that does not view you as a diagnosis, but as a person who needs support. They will not judge you, and work hard to understand your feelings and situation without diagnosing or labelling you.

You can also visit our ‘where to get help’ page with listening lines and guidance.

Whether it’s what to put on the TV in the evening, or how to manage priorities at work, we’re breaking down how to make decisions when things become overwhelming

It can be great to feel in control of our lives, making the call on the things that come our way every day as well as big-picture choices that shape the future. But, sometimes, all those decisions can become overwhelming, or even stifling – and when it comes to choices that aren’t easy to make, or which come with a degree of distress, decision fatigue can set in.

When that happens, deciding what you want to do feels a whole lot harder, engaging with the problem properly seems almost impossible, and apathy starts to set in as your mind is too overwhelmed to engage with the task at hand.

Here, with help from life coach Sukhi Johal, we ask, what can we do to address decision fatigue?

1. Spot the signs of decision fatigue

“The important thing to notice is whether you are becoming irritable or incapable of making simple decisions,” Sukhi says. “It’s then time to prioritise a break for self-care. Take time for gentle exercise throughout your day, make healthy diet choices – or if you have just finished a big project, book in some much-needed annual leave.”

Sometimes, our mood can take a dip and we may not immediately know what’s causing it. So take some time to reflect on the things that are going on in your life at the moment. Are you taking on a lot more responsibility than usual? Or are the stakes higher right now? Perhaps you’ve just had a stressful day and the thought of deciding what to cook for dinner is just one thing too many.

2. Group tasks together

Once you’ve established that you’re struggling, Sukhi suggests implementing strategies to make your day-to-day life easier.

“Group tasks together and look at how you can streamline choices,” she suggests. “For example, rather than facing the daily dilemma of what to eat for dinner, compartmentalise meal decisions by prepping the week’s menu ahead of time. This will save a huge portion of time and headspace every evening by having the decision already made. Saving your headspace on the smaller decisions helps to free up room for the bigger decisions.”

3. Limit your options by making them binary

These days, we have so much choice. Whether that’s what book to read next, or picking out a type of kitchen roll. While that initially seems like a good thing, it can get too much, and multiple studies have looked at the ways that ‘choice overload’ can make actually coming to a decision a whole lot harder.

“Going through a myriad of choices when making a decision can be exhausting and confusing,” Sukhi says. “For example, while going through the possibility of 20 different holiday destinations may save a few pennies, you will have spent a lot of time and energy causing unnecessary stress. Try to dwindle down your options to two choices where possible, to make the assessment of outcomes more manageable.”

4. Once you make a decision, stick to it

“Often, the fatigue continues after we have made a decision as we start to think about whether it was the right one to make, or what we should have done instead,” Sukhi says. “Make your decisions with the intention that you are going to trust your decision-making process, and promise yourself that you are not going to over-analyse it once it is done.”

If you’ve got a lot on your plate, the last thing you want to do is keep on going over the same thing again and again, something which Sukhi says can trap you in a decision fatigue loop.

“A good tip is to learn to trust your decision making – just think of a time when you trusted your gut instinct and it was right. Reminding ourselves that our instincts are reliable can help us to trust and settle on our decisions.”

Coach Sukhi Johal is an NLP qualified personal and professional development trainer. Find out more by visiting lifecoach-directory.org.uk

So often we underestimate the impact that our emotions can have on our everyday lives. Here, expert columnist Andy Gill dives into the topic of emotions, and shares a practical exercise to help you tune-in to yours

What if we could see our emotions as an important part of ourselves? How would it be if we could see them as key resources to living more authentic and connected lives?

I believe that emotions are poorly understood, and often undervalued. Emotions are always present whether we are aware of them or not. They represent our reaction to what is going on in the world around us. They influence our behaviours, moods, and the quality of our mental health.

But did you also know that they are crucial to decision making? Emotions tell us what is important and what to pay attention to. Researchers found that people with damage to the emotional centres of their brain struggle to make decisions.

Whatever your level of awareness of your emotions, they are there influencing every decision you make!

Researchers have also found that naming emotions reduces emotional reactivity. As neuroscientist Dan Siegel says: “Name it to tame it.”

But if emotions are so important, why are many of us unable to fully feel or express them? When asked how we feel, people often say things like ‘I feel good,’ ‘I feel OK,’ or ‘I’m not bad.’ But none of these are actually emotions. They represent a safe, non-specific description that avoids confronting or even revealing what’s going on for us emotionally.

If you use words like these to describe your emotions, this could indicate that you are either:

• Not really in touch with your feelings.
• You don’t know how to express them.
• You are uncomfortable expressing your emotions.
• You hold negative beliefs about emotions and expressing them.
• Some or all of the above.

If any of this is true for you, then you are not alone. Many of us learned as children to control or suppress our emotions.

This was true for me, and I would like to give you an example from my own childhood: my dad rarely expressed how he felt – the key exception being the explosion of rage that came when he lost his temper. My father never hit me, but when you are a young child, raw anger feels like a threat to your very existence. I came to believe that anger was a dangerous emotion, something to be feared and avoided. So I avoided anger and any situation or confrontations where it might be present.

But the truth is that feelings are neither good nor bad, and that includes anger. Anger tells you when you are threatened. It gives you the energy to stand up for yourself, and to find solutions.

Your own childhood experiences might have left you with similarly dysfunctional approaches to feeling emotion. For me it was anger, but for you it might be sadness, or even joy.

I invite you to think of emotions as neither good nor bad. As we have already learned, all our emotions serve a useful function, even those that you might have learned to believe are ‘bad’.

How would it be if you could consider all emotions to be positive? If we can view all emotions as positive, even anger, sadness, or fear, then we can learn to allow ourselves to fully feel and express them.

Practical exercise

Let’s take a look at the eight basic emotions as defined in the Plutchik model. These are:

• Fear
• Surprise
• Disgust
• Anger
• Sadness
• Anticipation
• Joy
• Acceptance

Explore the following questions:

• What is the positive purpose of this emotion? What can it do for you?
• Are you able to experience this emotion?
• If you can experience this emotion, what is your level of comfort with it?

There are no rights or wrongs. But if you are unable to feel any of these emotions, or they are unbearable, then you may benefit from working with a professional.

Summary

I hope this article helps you to see your emotions as positive and valuable. The exercise is a starting point, and I would encourage you to practise this daily.

Once you can feel and name the eight basic emotions, you can begin working on describing the different emotions to further develop your emotional vocabulary. Sadness, for example, might be despair, melancholy, hopeless, or wretched. And, likewise, joy might be hope, contentment, or excitement.

Andy Gill is a multi-modal therapist who uses coaching, hypnotherapy, and yoga to meet his clients’ needs. Find out more by visiting lifecoach-directory.org.uk

We all want to do our bit for the planet, and with the rising cost of living, being cautious about our household food waste is one of the best ways to address both issues

In the UK, nearly seven million tonnes of food and drink are thrown away each year – costing £12.5 billion – while global food waste is at an eye-watering 900 million tonnes. Here, we’re exploring simple habits we can embrace today, in order to reduce our kitchen waste.

Plan your meals

By deciding ahead of time what you’ll be making for dinner that week, you can draw up a more accurate shopping list that limits your basket to only the ingredients you need. You can then factor in the dishes that tend to make extra portions, so you can plan these into your lunches as well. Having already made this daily decision about what to eat saves you time and energy each day, ensures you’re getting a proper, nutritious meal, and can be especially helpful if you’re having a long week.

Store food correctly

One of the simplest ways to reduce waste is to ensure you’re keeping food items at their optimum temperature and in the best conditions to prolong their quality. Check that your fridge temperature is set between 1–5°C, and items that should be at room temperature are kept in your cupboard (such as bread, onions, garlic). You can also preserve certain foods for longer by keeping those that release ethylene gas (which encourages ripening) apart, for example keep bananas, tomatoes, avocados, and pears away from apples, potatoes, berries, and peppers.

Freeze your leftovers

Believe me, I know the temptation to just put that extra portion of pasta in the fridge thinking you’ll eat it tomorrow, but then you fancy something else, and it sits there until you throw it away. Unless you’ve planned the leftovers into your weekly schedule, the better option is to put these in your freezer. Leftovers will keep much longer this way, and be ready for a day when you just need something quick and tasty.

Get into composting

Even if you’ve planned your meals, and saved all the leftovers you can, there will still be times when you have scraps, peels, or uneaten items, and this is where composting comes in. This is a means of turning organic food items into fertiliser for plants, and you could collect this in garden compost bins which would typically hold a lot more material, or perhaps get a countertop kitchen caddy, which allows you to compost even without the outdoor space.

Repurpose your breadcrumbs

Most of us will have some kind of bread item as a staple in the kitchen, but how often do we not get through the whole loaf before it starts getting stale? Rather than just throwing it away, there are several ways to make the most of this bake. You could use the breadcrumbs to make stuffing to accompany a dish, or use them to prepare some homemade breaded chicken or mushrooms. You could even whip up a tasty bread and butter pudding for dessert as a treat. Or, if you’re up for a nostalgic activity, why not head down to your local pond and use a little of the bread to feed the ducks? A quack-ing idea.

If you’re ready to ditch food guilt and rediscover the joy of meal times, why not practise intuitive eating?

If I went back and told teenage me that one day I would be able to eat whatever I wanted without guilt… I think she’d laugh in my face. Back then, I was struggling with an eating disorder, and my relationship with food was restrictive in every sense of the word.

What I ate (or didn’t eat) consumed every waking moment, with mealtimes fraught with tension and internal battles. In time, I got the professional help I needed to recover but, even then, the way that I ate was bound by rules.

These rules are set by diet culture and they’re ones I’m sure you’ll be familiar with – some foods are ‘good’, others ‘bad’, and many, downright ‘naughty’. We’re told that if we want to be healthy’ (i.e. thin), then we have to eat a certain way, considering how every morsel that passes our lips will affect us.

Gradually, however, I became exposed to another way of thinking. I started following body positivity advocates online and learned about concepts such as intuitive eating, and health at every size (HAES). Over time, I started adopting intuitive eating practises, rebuilding trust with myself, and discovering a freedom I never thought was possible.

Intuitive eating is a weight-inclusive, non-diet approach to eating. Its 10 principles include rejecting the diet mentality, making peace with food, feeling your fullness, and honouring your health through gentle nutrition. The idea is to start tuning-in to your body’s signals, recognising when you’re hungry, when you’re full, and how food makes you feel, both physically and emotionally.

Following this approach means I eat what I want, and am able to embrace the unbridled joy that comes with it. I no longer agonise over how much to eat, or worry that what I’m eating is ‘bad’.

If I had to describe it, I would say it’s like taking off restraints after a lifetime of being tied up. At first, the freedom can feel unnerving (if I can eat what I want, surely I’ll go to an extreme and eat chocolate all day?), but in time you learn that you can trust yourself, and eventually you find your footing.

Shifting your mindset around eating isn’t an easy or quick thing to do, especially when contending with a beast like diet culture, but it can be done.

Taking the first steps

Before we move forwards, it’s helpful to look back so we can meet ourselves where we are. Nutritionist and intuitive eating counsellor Hattie Rees explains that intuitive eating is a journey of self-discovery, and this includes exploring your past relationship with food.

“You can start this by sitting down and drawing a timeline based around your relationship with food,” Hattie says. “Get curious with yourself, and try to pinpoint things such as the age you first went on a diet, and the age you were first negatively affected by your body image. What environment did you grow up in? Did your family/caregivers have a strong history of dieting? What about at school or in the workplace?

“You may have been waist-deep in diet culture for decades, it may take a while to unravel and unlearn everything you’ve picked up from it. This is OK – remember to have compassion for yourself.”

When we’re young, we’re malleable. We often take in the messaging surrounding us and it becomes a part of us, for better or worse. This makes it very easy for diet culture to feel normal, and the fact it is still very much accepted in society today makes it even more difficult to let go of.

Taking some time to recognise that, and to give yourself grace is important here. Something that can really help at this stage is detaching ourselves (as much as possible) from diet culture.

Detaching from diet culture

“We can’t fully control what is in our environment – let’s face it, diet culture is everywhere,” Hattie notes. But, a helpful step is to look at the environments you can control, and ‘cleanse’ them from diet culture rhetoric.

“For example, have a social media detox and unfollow anybody who is preaching diet culture, and/or who makes you feel rubbish. Start following people who are in the anti-diet space: personal trainers, therapists, and nutritionists such as myself @hattiereeshealth who put out regular anti-diet content.”

Hattie also suggests making a list of every diet you’ve done, how they’ve made you feel, and how much money you’ve spent on them.

“Remember those feelings of restriction when on a diet, and that those diet companies are banking on each diet failing so that you’ll keep spending money with them,” Hattie notes. “Remind yourself of your brain on a diet vs not on a diet – how much mental room do you have in your life for other things when not focused on food?”

Remembering the lack of headspace when in a dieting mentality is something I come back to time and time again. When you find freedom from diet culture, your world expands.

Getting support

If you are starting from a place of disordered eating, it can really help to get some professional support. I don’t believe I would have been able to make the mindset shift without first receiving treatment for my eating disorder. Mental health professionals can support you at this point, bringing you closer to a healthy relationship with food, but nutrition professionals can also be a source of support.

“To work on intuitive eating, look for someone who is a Certified Intuitive Eating Counsellor, like myself, which means they have been officially trained by the founders of intuitive eating,” Hattie says.

“We all offer slightly different things, such as one-to-one coaching, online courses, group coaching, and online support groups. There is so much out there to suit whatever you need.

“The main thing when looking for support is to find somebody who you gel with. Intuitive eating can be a challenging process, so it can be nice to know you have a professional by your side, supporting you every step of the way, or the support of a community with like-minded people.”

Two areas that are commonly present for those of us seeking support are negative body image and emotional eating, so getting support for those areas, Hattie notes, is vital for this work.

Whatever your starting point is, there is a path to intuitive eating. It may not be straightforward, and you may need some help along the way, but if you keep putting one foot in front of the other, you will get there. And when you do get there, take a minute to stop and appreciate the view… because I can tell you, it’s pretty fantastic.

Learn more about Hattie’s work and find professional support on nutritionist-resource.org.uk